14 JOAN TUGWELL summary

DVCPro Tape 01 of  04 – VHS Tape 01 of 01                                 01:00:00 – 01:56:05
 
Birth and early life - general overview
Born 5th July 1928 in army barracks near Colchester. Moved to London when four or five.  Family very poor, mother used to sing in streets for money.  Was taken into care with brother and sisters because father was cruel to them when he was drunk.  Stayed in children's home for about 6 months and then all five children went back to mother.  About two weeks later mother abandoned Joan and her twin sister and they went back to children's home until they were fostered by Mr and Mrs Smith. Moved to Uckfield with foster parents, who treated girls very well. Mother would visit every three months.  Children taken back from foster parents by mother which was very distressing for all concerned.  Mother found out father had died and married Scottish Canadian RAF man, who was a "marvellous father".  Family went to Canada, then back to England, then to Southern Rhodesia. Joan recalls this being the happiest time of her life.
 
Living in Kensington in early years
Home consisted of just two rooms, children in one and mother on sofa in living room.  Mother would stand in street with children and sing for money, which she then used to buy food for children.  Doesn't remember eating proper meals, just bread and oxo or bread and jam.
 
Family
Father left mother.  Mother used to keep children cheerful. Relationships with siblings not good now, but had been all right when young.
 
Being taken into care for first time
Mother tried to avoid children being taken into care, but Joan tempted out of house by idea of a car ride and promise that they could return home the next day.  All five children taken to a children's home.  Looked after well in children's home, had good meals and used to help nurses out with small jobs. Lived in home six months and then mother came to take them home.  Joan very excited about going home but two weeks later mother abandoned Joan and her twin sister and they returned to children's home.
 
Going to live with foster parents
Mr and Mrs Smith took twins to home in Uckfield. Looked after very well. Social worker visited  make sure everything was all right.  House had two living rooms, kitchen and three bedrooms.  Had good time with foster parents, although would sometimes go out drinking and leave girls on their own.  If girls naughty would smack them, but not a "hiding".  Joan sometimes used to hit foster mother back.  Smith's extended family lived nearby and girls would go to visit or stay often. Generally a happy time.  Was mischievous at school but enjoyed school.  Liked cookery lessons best.  Made friends easily.
 
Contact with mother while being fostered
Mother would visit girls at foster parent's home for one hour every three months.  Conflict between mother and foster mother, but Joan always pleased to see mother.  Mother took girls back when fourteen or fifteen and old enough to earn their own living.  Never got chance to say goodbye to foster father who was later killed in the war.  Mother forbade girls to keep in touch with foster parents but Joan secretly did continue to have contact. 
 
 
 
01:31:21
Leaving foster parents
Did not want to leave foster parents, arguments between mother and foster mother. Never had chance to say goodbye to foster father, who was later killed in the war.  Talks positively about  her relationship foster mother, and how foster mother collapsed and died in church about fourteen years ago when Joan was in Hellingly Hospital. 
 
Living with mother in Thornton Heath
Moved with mother to house in Thornton Heath, Croydon, Surrey.  Got job making paper bags, initially outside home but then when war started boss would bring work to house.  Talks about war, how she remained in Thornton Heath, shelters  and  the doodle bugs.
 
Life in the army
Joined the army when twenty or twenty one. Trained as a switchboard operator but was then put in charge of girls working in the cook house.  Gives army number. Enjoyed life in the camp, talks about various incidents which happened to her while she was there.  Was there for about four years and at various times moved to camps in Manchester, Catterick, Oswestry, Aldershot.  Made a lot of friends in army. Contracted rheumatic fever but recovered all right.  Talks about army life, parades, passing out, going to Scotland, making friends in army.
 
Leaving army
After army went back to live with foster parents. Developed serious agoraphobia.  Real mother said she she go to the hospital.
 
St John's Hospital
At St John's had ECT and modified insulin treatment. Describes dormitories in ward where beds pushed so close together patients had to sleep "one up one down" to avoid breathing in each others faces. Liked Dr Watt.  Thinks ECT helped her agoraphobia. Was put in padded cell on one occasion, but can't remember why.  Had duodenal ulcer while in St Johns and was treated well for this.  Was told that she went all around the wards saying she was going to kill Dr Watt, gave her paraldehyde and then remembers waking up in Broadmoor.
 
ECT and modified insulin
For ECT, if they couldn't find vein gave ECT without anaesthetic, always had terrible headache afterwards.  On modified insulin, had a couple of fits so was taken off treatment.
 
Sleep treatment
Talks about steep treatment (probably later).  Put to sleep for six weeks, given drugs every four hours, and Complan and bed baths.  Sometimes had withdrawal fit when coming off drugs used.
 
Jimmy Saville coming to Broadmoor
Remembers Jimmy Saville used to visit Broadmoor and was very nice to everyone.  Would sometimes go out with them on coach trip, e.g. to Windsor safari Park and Heathrow Airport.
 
Broadmoor
Women's wards were Lancaster ward and York Ward.  Mini-hangar used for OT where Joan put in chage of other women patients. Talks about disturbing behaviour of one particular patient who had brain damage after failed suicide attempt.
DVCPro Tape 02 of 04 – VHS Tape 01 of 01                                  02:00:31 – 02:55:00
 
St John's Hospital
"Very nice", with friendly staff.  Dormitories with 60 beds, all very close together. No freedom, but did sometimes sneak out and made boyfriend go to pub for her to get drink. Was alcoholic and talks about experience of being put in padded cell for being drunk.  Had psychiatrist Dr Watts who she really liked, but apparently went all round hospital saying she was going to kill him   Then suffered loss of memory, went to court and then transferred to Broadmoor. Given paraldehyde and talks of experience of waking up in Broadmoor, not understanding how she got there.
 
Life in Broadmoor
Used to do OT work in mini-hangar, and describes a little about this.  Used to self-harm.  Had sleep treatment for six weeks.  Would sometimes attack staff when she felt they were shouting at her or nagging her, and would be put in room for a week. Describes how other patients would push cigarettes to her under the door.  On Lancaster House, rooms had no furniture and patients  to undress in corridor. Male nurses used to bath female patients, some nurses used to throw buckets of water over patients, used to make Joan angry.  Attacked a nurse after he had twisted Joan's neck while giving her paraldehyde injection.  Also talks of saving Sister McGee's life when she was being attacked by another patient. Parents tried for  many years to get Joan out. Diagnosed with psychopathic disorder and put on Section 45.  Parents used to come to visit every week. Had three cooked meals a day, with good choice.  
 
Self harm
Talks of smashing crockery and cutting herself.  Arms put in plaster casts so couldn't self harm.  Self-harming started in Broadmoor.  Would look for bits of glass in court, hide them in mouth and then cut self.  Talks about patient who asked her to break her arm in door for her.
 
Cigarettes and money
Describes smoking times.  Staff had to supply light.  Cigarettes could be bought from shop known as canteen. Mother and foster mother used to bring in money. Could earn money in mini hangar. Would earn cigarettes by sweeping mini-hangar.
 
Entertainment/leisure activities
Had cinema on Friday afternoon, men and women allowed to go together.  Also dances in York House, with buffet food.  Also had sports days with games.  Was offered chance to move to York House but didn't trust herself with crockery and self harming.  Describes Christmas at Broadmoor.
 
Douglas Unit - punishment Unit on Lancaster House
Describes how she tried to hang herself while on Douglas House and how she was saved.
 
Nurses and other patients
Talks about particular nurses that she liked, and other patients who she feels should not have been in Broadmoor and how they were sometimes cruelly treated by the staff.  
 

Rooms in Lancaster House
No furniture, no bedstead, just mattress on floor.  Bars at windows with shutters which were opened in day.  Locked 24 hours. Hard to sleep because other patients kicking and shouting. 
 
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Side effect of medication
Talks of eyes going off into her head as side effect of medication. Had withdrawal fits when coming off drugs for sleep treatment. Also developed sensitivity to sunlight, but still had to go out in Court even when in distress because of itchiness.
 
Self harm
Would cut herself with glass that she found in court and with staples from middle of magazines. Once used a polo mint to cut herself.  For punishment would be locked in room all day and would have to eat off cardboard plate with piece of cardboard. Had potty and only saw staff at meal-times. If troublesome, extra staff called to hold down patient to give injection of paraldehyde.
 
Other patients
Talks of patients who committed suicide, mostly youngsters age fourteen to fifteen.  Also describes some older patients who she feels should never have been in Broadmoor.  
 
Leisure
Used to play bingo - describes how she and her friend used to cheat.  Would also have pictures on a Friday afternoon but mostly watched TV, sitting in upright chairs so couldn't fall asleep. Sometimes, nurse would go out and buy chicken and chips and they would eat together.
 
Hearing of relatives  deaths while in Broadmoor
Was not allowed to go to funerals when sister and step-father died.  Describes her experience of hearing about relatives deaths, the suicide of an Army-linked person who used to come and visit her and death of friend of her sister who used to visit.
 
Visitors
If patients did not have visitors, League of Friends would visit.  Could have visits every day, and would make tray of tea for visitors.  No restrictions on visiting, even when on punishment.  Saw parents about once a week, sometimes foster parents in morning and real parents in afternoon.  Talks with great affection of step-father.
 
Other patients
Talks about boyfriend David and another boyfriend who Joan used to "snog" with at back of cinema. Staff turned blind eye to both heterosexual and lesbian relationships.  Talks about solidarity between patients generally.  Recalls specific patients.  Patients would tend to stick up for one another. 
 
Staff
Has had letter from Sister McGee since leaving Broadmoor and seen another member of staff in local shopping centre.  While in Broadmoor was visited by one of her favourite doctors, Dr Marjot, who brought her chocolates and cigarettes.  Recalls seeing doctor in office every day while in Broadmoor, would sometimes alter medication.
 
Gallery
Gallery was at 7.25 pm. Medication given out and women would secretly have last smoke of the day in the toilets. Once got drunk by drinking perfume.
 
 
DVCPro Tape 03 of 04 – VHS Tape 01 of 01                                  03:00:37 – 03:57:22
 
Self-harm
Hospital tried to stop Joan  self-harming by putting her arms in plaster from finger tips to shoulder, but found it hard to resist self-harming, maybe because of claustrophobia she suffered. Talks about friend who died through self harm.  Now feels embarrassed by the scars  on  arms.
 
Tattoos
Describes how patients in Broadmoor used to do own tattoos using a needle, powdered charcoal and spit. When in Hellingly,  had tattoos removed at East Grinstead Burn's Unit..
 
Stigma of being in Broadmoor
Does not tell everyone she has been in Broadmoor. Talks about her anger at a friend who was been telling people; says people think everyone in Broadmoor must have done a murder but she had actually saved a life.  Also talks about other specific patients who she feels should not have been in Broadmoor; feels Broadmoor needs sorting out.
 
Treatments
Talks about agoraphobia and how she feels ECT helped her. Describes ECT and how she feels it did some people good Also states that she saw two patients in St John's improve after leucotomies.  Describes the various pills she was on and some of the side effects, and also sleep treatment and the withdrawal fits she suffered.  Doesn't feel sleep treatment did much good.  Describes "eye-balling" side effect from drugs.
 
Leaving Broadmoor
Believes she was let out of Broadmoor because she saved Sister McGee's life. Has been out for 23 years now.  Was taken by two escorts to Severalls Hospital.  Was in Broadmoor thirteen years two months, St John's eight and a half years, Severalls fifteen months and Hellingly ten years. 
 
Severalls
Missed Broadmoor at first.  Didn't like Severalls much because had to fend for yourself much more. Started drinking and one day cut herself very badly and was very ill for a while.  Feels she was drinking because she was getting panic attacks.  Cannot remember much about Severalls.  Says they wanted to push her out but she did not feel ready to go. Returned to foster mother and then got into Hellingly.
 
Staff at Hellingly and Severalls
Some of staff at Hellingly were good but some were not interested in the patients. At Severalls, staff were helpful but not around much, always seemed to disappear.  While in Hellingly Joan put in position of responsibility (as at Broadmoor), ie supervising patients making shin guards.
 
Leisure activities
Had a boyfriend, who she used to take to her room for a cup of tea.  Had canteen where they could eat and drink. Could go into town.  Every Monday Joan's ward would go by minibus with two nurses to pub.  Talks about three patients who went into town and either disappeared or later found dead. Patients could go into town on special hospital bus. Friend bought gun in Hailsham.
 
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Wards at Hellingly
Had mixed wards at Hellingly. Had own room but had to share toilet and washing facilities with men. Joan kept budgerigars. Other patients sometimes aggressive and Joan would retaliate.  
 
Night staff and day staff
Usually two night staff; night staff tended to sleep while on duty.  On day shift, had couple of men and few women nurses. Talks about one nurse who was very kind to patients but told off for being so caring.  Joan liked some staff but not others. Compares staff to staff at Broadmoor who she feels were more caring.  
 
Relationships with other patients
Talks of patients she had relationships with, eg an old lady who would only go to bed for Joan. Had friends on wards.  Mentions Jerry who had also been in Broadmoor, and disabled girl who she felt very sorry for. Talks about patients what happened to some patients when Hellingly  closed down - feels closure was "worst thing they did".
 
Earning money.
Joan used to earn money by making beds on elderly female ward and washing staff cars.
 
Leisure
In Hellingly more or less had to entertain yourself. Would have parties at Christmas time but otherwise not much else.  Didn't have dances as they had had in Broadmoor.
 
Prejudice from community when Hellingly due to close
Public meeting with members of community protesting about patients living in community.  Joan very angry and spoke out at the meeting.  Joan took three years getting out of Hellingly.
 
Moving out of Hellingly
Originally had flat. Was lonely at first but made good friends with neighbour Jean. Is an animal lover and used to look after a lady's dog, and someone else's cat. 
 
Going to visit mother from Hellingly
When mother was dying of cancer hospital arranged for Joan to visit her, taking her by car. Found visits difficult and talks about incidents which happened and what happened when her mother died.  Doesn't visit sister since mother died. Also has sister in America and brother in England who she has not seen since 1948.  Feels eldest sister did not hold Joan's mental problems against her, used to come and see her in hospital sometimes.
Death of mother
Staff at Hellingly very concerned when Joan's mother was dying and supportive. Only had medication while in Hellingly, no ECT or injections.
 
Feeling low now
Sometimes wakes up feeling very sad.  Has to get up for her cats and feels they help her keep going.  Developed breast cancer and had to have operation.  
 
 
DVCPro Tape 04 of 04 – VHS Tape 01 of 01                                  04:00:20 – 04:43:53
 
Moving into the community
Moved into community three months after mother died. Mother had been very excited about Joan coming out, but didn't live to see it.  Joan talks about mother dying very quickly and speculates as to whether sister gave her too much morphine.  On moving into community only had bed, mother's television, four chairs and a table.  Didn't have any carpets, light bulbs, fridge or anything to cook on.  Had no electricity at first but neighbour Jean helped her sort this out.  Eventually got £500 settlement grant and was able to buy things she needed.
 
Life in the community
Was lonely at first because so used to always having someone around in hospital.  Talks about noisy neighbours, cleaning for one of neighbours, buying food  on "tick" when she didn't have enough money.  Still went up to Hellingly to help make beds.  Made video about moving into the community with Thurstine Bassett.  First flat was one bedroom and kitchen.
 
Friendship with Jean
Became very good friends with neighbour Jean.  Used to buy her things and got into debt over this - still paying debts off but doesn't begrudge Jean what she gave her because she was such a good friend.  Talks about the day Jean died and about her funeral and how upset she was. 
 
Grangemead
Currently attends Grangemead (day centre) once a week. Likes staff. Do things like bowls, bingo, exercises, quizzes.  Has nice meals there, with good choice.  At home has meals on wheels.  Has had to learn to cook and Jean would help her.  Used to cook meals for Thurstine Bassett when he visited but in new house kitchen too small to cook.
 
Breast Cancer
Developed breast cancer after coming into community.  Had operation in Eastbourne General Hospital, and then second operation.  Now goes for check ups every six months and is on temoxifan.  Talks favourably about treatment in general hospital.  Didn't feel staff treated her differently because of her psychiatric history, but not sure if they really knew. 
 
Stigma associated with being in Broadmoor
Feels there is stigma associated with having been in Broadmoor, and angry when other people  tell people she has been in Broadmoor.  Says  people think you must have killed someone if you'd been there and referred to you as a prisoner; didn't realise lot of innocent people in Broadmoor.  Talks again about how she actually saved Sister McGee's life. Her neighbours know about Joan's time in Broadmoor but are all right about it.
Current contact with services
Sees Dr Duncan who gives her medication, CPN and Keith her social worker.  Also has help from other people at Grangemead.  Keith has been particularly helpful
 
Current home
Lives in Bungalow in a very quiet area.  Has had some problems initially with neighbours because she has two cats.  .  Is a great animal lover. Used to feed stray cats in Hellingly - used to call her the Cat Lady.  Took budgies from hospital into community with her. Then two stray cats adopted her. Talks lovingly about her cats.
 
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Current daytime activities
Attends Grangemead and can talk to them on the phone any time she wants. Has nice Christmases at Grangemead. Is "hooked on" crossword puzzles. Likes television, especially quiz programmes like 15:1 and Countdown. First did crosswords in St John's after visitor brought in a book, but  not in Broadmoor or Hellingly. Feels she has learn a lot from doing crosswords.
 
Move from flat to bungalow
Moved from original flat in community because of noise. Now lives in quiet area and likes that after all the noise she had to put up with in hospital. Says though that sometimes it is too quiet.
Doesn't have any visitors except Thurstine Bassett, and feels very lonely especially when she sees other people having visitors.. Doesn't know where most people she knew from Hellingly have gone to, maybe most have died.  Reflects that it was a sad time when Hellingly closed. 
 
Making video with Thurstine Bassett
With another long-term patient, Eric Stone, made a video with Thurstine Bassett. Filmed going into shops etc. 
 
Money
Didn't have much money but used to buy things for Jean.  Now gets attendance allowance and income support, which Keith helped her to get. Feels she deserves money and some happiness now. 
 
Hopes for the future
No hopes really, just to keep coming to Grangemead, see Thurstine Bassett who has been very kind to her.
 
Looking back
Feels she has survived difficult times in her life through will power.  Misses her twin sister who died of alcoholic poisoning, and her mother.  Feels like she has had a lot of sadness and bad luck. Sometimes feels very depressed now but has to pull herself through it.  Cats help. Neighbours Sylvia and John very kind, but has had problems with other neighbour.   But says no-one is going to tell her how to run her life now she is out in the community.
 
Feelings about telling life story on video for Testimony
Enjoyed it although initially dreading it.  Appreciated opportunity and has enjoyed talking and will miss interviewer and crew.
 
End of DVCPro Tape 04 of 04 – End of VHS Tape 01 of 01
 
INTERVIEW ENDS